What is school refusal, and what might be behind it?
School refusal is often known as school phobia. There is an element of fear for children who do not go to school, a feeling that they cannot cope. They might be anxious about schoolwork, or struggling with relationships with friends or teachers. Some children feel out of step with their classmates: this is especially true of children who are young for their age and see all the others in their groups as older, more confident and more grown up.
Some younger children might become very clingy and want to sleep in their parents' bed. This is a difficult one especially if the child is having nightmares and waking up distressed at night or sleepwalking, but it is not a long-term solution.
Your child might be worried about things going on at home. Big life changes, family breakdown, mental illness or bereavement can all affect their sense of security and well-being, and some children worry that bad things will happen at home while they are at school. Is it long-term problem? The longer children are away from school, the harder it can get for them to return. We have worked with children who quite unknowingly end up being the one who controls the situation so that they decide which days they go into school and which lessons they attend. This is known as a maladaptive coping strategy. It seems like a step towards a solution but in fact reinforces the unhealthy coping strategy and maintains the problem.
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